Easter Fun with Grandmama & Grandaddy!

Bobby and I have been married for 6 years, and this is the first Easter in our married-life that we have been blessed to spend the holiday with family.  Bobby's parents flew out here to spend the week with us, and we have had so much fun hanging out with them!  Get ready for picture overload!

Grandmama has been soaking up every moment with these babies!

Grandmama had so much fun giving Trey his bath... and he had fun, too!

We made popcorn in our popper (on clearance from Walmart!) and watched Frozen for the first time during movie night.

Trey got a new toy, which of course means that Gia wanted to play with it.

Nola got in on the fun!

Such a sweet face.  Just had to add this one in.

We made Monster Easter eggs this year.  Gia had so much fun choosing the colors and putting hte sticker-faces on the eggs.

Then, I hid the eggs outside and Gia searched for them.  It was funny because she would be standing right beside one, but looking the other way.

With a little bit of help, she found all of the eggs!

She was so proud of herself.  I love that sweet face!  "Almost 3" is such a great age!

Trey LOVES his jumper!  This was his first time in it.  He jumped around and squealed and laughed.  It's going to let me get so much more done around the house!

Grandmama made a bunny cake, and then Gia got to decorate it.  Reminds me of the cake my mom made for me as a child.  

I think Gia really enjoyed Grandmama's frosting :o)

The finished cake!

Trey - 5 Months!

Wow, 5 months already!  I think Trey feels older to me because he is so big and is doing things faster than I remember Gia doing them (motor skills wise).  Here are some milestones from this month:

Trey has gotten into 9 month clothes.  His torso is too big for 6 month clothes, but his legs aren't quite long enough for 9 month pants... his belly requires 9 month, though, so it's tricky to get jeans on him at the moment!

Still in size 3 diapers.

Unfortunately, he went from sleeping 9-11 hours straight a couple weeks ago to waking up in the middle of the night.  I'm pretty tired, feeling like we've reverted back to the infant stage, but I'm hopeful it won't last forever.

I put him on the scale this morning, and he was 8 lbs 8oz!  His thighs are as big as my upper arm, ha ha!  I call him my millstone.

His sleeping routine is to be swaddled, given the paci, then rocked for about a minute while singing to him.  I sing "This Little Light of Mine" and Bobby sings "Chicken Fried."

Trey LOVES being naked!  If he's ever fussy, I just change his diaper and leave him naked for a while (until he gets cold).  So different from Gia!

We've started on solid foods this past week.  He has tried sweet potatoes and peas, both of which he likes.  We give him about an ounce at dinner time.  It doesn't satisfy him like milk does, though, so he has to be nursed BEFORE eating, otherwise he gets fussy.  But he sure has fun eating!




He laughs and laughs at his big sister!  She is so gentle and sweet with him, and he really loves her.  His favorite is when she dances in front of him.  It cracks him up!


His eczema continues, mostly a couple patches on his cheeks.  Eucerine and CereVe work well to keep it controlled, but we have to put it on a few times a day.  Utah is very dry.

He can easily roll from belly to back, and he rolls from back to side (he can't quite get over his arm to get all the way to his belly).  He also began sitting up about 5 days before turning 5 months.
                                                       





He loves to grab at things and put them straight into his mouth.  He has also taken to feeling our faces, which is really sweet!




He loves Mama to hold him, but boy, do his legs start kicking when Daddy talks to him!

He only cries when he's hungry, poopy or tired.  He's starting to fuss when left alone in a room, but mostly he's a happy boy.

Have I mentioned that he LOVES the TV?  It's hilarious!  He twists and arches his back to see it.  We have to reposition him a lot so he can't watch it.

He has become very ticklish!  His legs and sides are the biggest trigger spots.

Things that make him laugh:  Grabbing his hand, Gia dancing or jumping on the trampoline, peek-a-boo, tickles.

Such a sweet, cuddly little boy we have!  He's a joy in our house and we're blessed to have two healthy, happy kids!

 

Valuing our children

I've been thinking a lot lately about discipline, especially since my 2 1/2 year old daughter has needed more of it in the past couple months.  In a culture where the concept of disciplining is not well understood, I think that it's important to really reflect on how it shapes our kids.   We should think about why it's important and how to do it well.

I often see in the culture around me a reluctance to discipline children.  Some parents are too afraid.  They fear that their child will resent them, withdraw from them, hit another person in anger because of spankings, or even that the parent themselves would somehow be sinning by cracking down on poor behavior.  The child may have been through a tough time, so the parent avoids discipline in order to spare them from anymore sadness.  It makes us nervous that somehow our children will hate us or not want to be with us because we don't let them get away with the behavior they know to be wrong.  This fear is understandable because as parents we never want to hurt our relationship with our children.  I would argue, however, that a lack of discipline is actually what will cause that break in the relationship.

Some parents don't discipline because of laziness, or rather, exhaustion.  Long nights of being awake, a toddler relentlessly saying, "no" or hitting you as you hold them, having to give the same warning or instruction for the umpteenth time.  We've all been there, wanting to let the behavior slide, just this one time, because we physically can't pull ourselves off of the couch to deal with the misbehavior again.  Maybe if we ignore it, it will just go away?  I don't think that's the case.  We have to understand that being a parent is, in many ways, a job.  One that we absolutely love and cherish, but a "job" in the sense that it is hard work!  It will be tiring, and there will be days where you don't feel like doing it.  But we have to keep the bigger picture in mind, that we are, in every decision, shaping the lives of the people we have brought (or adopted) into this world.

If you work outside of the house, you might be fired (or not re-hired), or receive a bad reputation for slacking off because you are consistently too tired to perform your duties.  When raising children, not understanding the need to continue discipline, despite being exhausted or exasperated, has slower and less obvious affects.  It can lead to a lack of respect toward the parents and disfunction later in life.  It can also damage the relationship between parent and child.  The child doesn't take their parent seriously, so they don't obey, leaving mom and dad completely worn out and at their wits end.  It's no longer enjoyable to be with their kids because it's always a fight.  Then, slowly, mom and dad lose hope.  We have to fight against our desire to give in to exhaustion.  It is a daily, moment-by-moment, intentional decision that we must make: to discipline our kids despite how we feel.

Some parents just don't know how to do it, or get discouraged when one method of discipline doesn't work.  "They won't sit in time-out, so what can I do?"  It can be a very frustrating time, especially with a child with a stronger personality.  Read up on the subject, try different methods to see what works, seek out mentors who know you and your children to give you advice, make sure both parents (if there are two) back each other up and are involved in the discipline, and don't give up.  

Although discipline is the focus of my thoughts in this blog, it cannot be talked about without bringing up love.  With every act of discipline, there must be affirmation.  For example, after disciplining our daughter, we get down on her level, look her in the eyes and tell her we love her.  We explain why the behavior was wrong, what we expect from her next time, and we ask for an apology.  We then give big kisses and hugs and tell her that she is our favorite first-born.  We tell her she is wonderful and we know she can listen to us next time.  She walks away from this with a positive attitude, wanting to play with us and snuggle with us.  It doesn't solve the problem right away, or even in a week, but little by little, we see her attitude and behavior being shaped into what will be a loving, wise, productive member of society.  And, most importantly to us, a woman who loves the Lord and strives to serve others.

It's also important to separate the behavior from the child; we disapprove of the behavior shown by our child, but we deeply, utterly love the child them-self.  They are special, uniquely designed by God for a purpose, and their personality is tailored by Him to be have a specific impact on this world.  We must find a way to correct their behavior while developing in our children a knowledge that they are loved and have value.

Discipline shows our children that we value them.  We love them and hold them high enough that we want them to have the absolute best opportunities in life that they can.  We insist that Gia doesn't argue with us so that when something really important happens, like asking her not to chase the ball into the street, she will listen and stay alive.  We insist that Gia obey us the first time so that she will obey God the first time.  Her obedience now will hopefully insure her willingness to listen to her mentors and teachers, and help her flourish in her career because she can respect her boss and do her job with humility and dignity.

Bobby and I have gained a lot wisdom from James Dobson, a child psychologist, founder of Focus on the Family and author of various child-rearing books.  We watched a video series of his when we were still living in NOLA, before we even had children.  One point that he said stuck with us and shapes how we discipline our kids: win the battle.  It doesn't matter what form of discipline you use (I mean, as long as it is humane): time-outs, taking away toys or treats, or reasonable spanking; the main thing is that you have to win the battle of whatever rules you have laid out.  We have changed our discipline methods for our daughter depending on her stage of life and what she responded to, but we have resolved to always win that battle.  She doesn't hate us; she adores us.  And, hopefully, she will appreciate that we have valued her enough to train her through consistent, sometimes exhausting discipline and love.