Trey Turns 3!

In this picture he's wearing the sweater I wore when I was 3.

Dancing at Uncle Josh's wedding.

My goodness, my first boy is 3 years old!  Now, honestly, he's been speaking and acting like a 3 year old for about 6 months, so I'm not super shocked at the number change, but I am SUPER excited to enter the 3s with him!  3 was an awesome year with Gia and I'm pretty sure it will be with Trey as well.  He already says the funniest things, is becoming very obedient, likes to play pretend and be creative.

Trey loves trucks, Power Rangers, books, baking cookies, riding his "bike," playing in Gia's room, wrestling with Daddy, and poking little Joey.  He says the sweetest prayers at dinner time and is the first to ask to pray.  He likes to listen to music in the car as we go to pick up big sister Gia, and he loves to go into Gia's classroom and play with the big kids.  He's already telling me, "Mama, when I'm 5 I'm going to... [chew gum, go to school, use the computer, etc...].

He cheers loudly for his sister on the soccer field.  It's precious!

Bobby takes him on dates probably twice a month.  His favorite thing to do is get a slurpy and go play on the electric cars at the mall.  When I get to take him out on a date we usually get something he likes to eat and a toy from our local consignment store.

He is a decisive kid.  If you ask him what he wants to eat, he answers right away and rarely changes his mind unless you offer him something else.  If you ask him what he wants to play, his answer is immediately, "super heroes."  He knows what he wants and goes for it.

He did a wonderful job as a ring bearer recently at Uncle Josh's wedding.  He LOVES to dance!  He tore up the dance floor at the reception!

Trey has gone from requiring a lot of attention, discipline and instruction on behavior to being a good listener, kind brother (most days), patient, generous kid and honestly is a joy to have around.  He still gets a time out most days, but it's for things like bopping Joey on the head because he forgets that Joey is still a baby.  However, all I have to do is tell him to go sit in time out and he does it.  I set the timer, he does his time, and we talk and hug say I'm sorry.  And then we're done and he's back to playing happily.  It's the light at the end of all the hard work that I've been waiting for.

Trey is snuggly.  He loves to give us hugs!  I think my favorite moments with him are as I'm tucking him in bed after his story and prayers.  I tell him all the things that are wonderful about him and all the people who love him, and he grins from ear to ear and plays with my hair, periodically sitting up to give me a hug.  I walk out of the room teary eyed a lot.

Still working on potty training.  He can do it, but just isn't motivated.  And to be honest, I haven't pushed it.  Some point soon we'll get serious about it.  Maybe after Christmas.

His favorite foods are mac and cheese, ham and cheese sandwiches, broccoli, and anything sweet.  He loves juice, soda and chocolate milk, but hardly ever gets those things.  Oh, and he loves coffee.  Yup, we start 'em young in this house (don't worry grandparents, he just gets a sip or two from Bobby's cup).

Lately he's been really into Power Rangers and Super heroes.  He loves to dress up in his Hulk outfit ("the green guy") and pretend to beat up Bobby (because he's the "bad guy").  It's the best game to watch!

We've started doing school while Gia is at school.  I have flash cards for him to practice his letter sounds and numbers up to 20, and then his treat afterwards is to play Starfall.  He can count to 14, and then to 20 with skipping numbers some times.  He knows about half his letter sounds so far but can identify all his upper and lower case numbers.  He has memorized one Bible verse so far and is working on a second.

Oh Trey boy, we love you so much!  You are smart, strong, sweet, funny and a good brother and friend.  You make our lives full of laughter and fun!  We can't wait to watch you grow in this next year and see you grow into what the Lord has planned for you!  Remember His grace toward you and follow in His ways as you put others before yourself.  Happy birthday, buddy!

Trey drinking my coffee.

On one of his dates with Daddy at the mall.

We like to make cookies for our neighbors.

On a date with me (got a toy and french fries).

Playing outside the church after service.

His first taste of lemon meringue pie.

Playing at the park with Gia's class.

This boy can touch his nose with his tongue!

Hugging Daddy after he returned from a long trip.

He LOVES to play games on their "phone" with Gia.

It's Not About me, It's About Him.

John 3:30 -The bride belongs to the bridegroom.  The friend of the bridegroom stands by and listens for him, and is overjoyed to hear the bridegrooms voice.  That joy is mine, and now it is complete.  He must increase, I must decrease."

My husband often re-posts articles about how husbands can better love their wives.  His heart is so focused on Jesus and his family that he sincerely tries to learn all he can about becoming a better husband and father.  And in my sinful, selfish nature, I read the articles he posts wondering what it is he has learned about how to love me more.

Oh goodness.  What he has learned about how to love me more.  That's not right.

Everyone thinks of themselves first at times.  We have all craved the love, respect and admiration of others, perhaps especially that of our husbands.  But marriage is about learning to think of yourself less and your spouse more.  It's an example of our relationship with Christ: Jesus gave up his life on earth to serve people and died on a cross bearing the horrible weight of our sin.  We, in turn, give up our earthly desires and lives to do God's will because He is everything to us.  This is the picture of marriage (or it should be).  Our relationship with our husbands should exemplify our relationship with Christ.  


So how can I serve my husband more with love and respect?

First and foremost, know who you are in Christ.  Know who God is and be humble in living your life for Him.  Realize who you are before a God who is merciful, holy, generous, just, and sanctifying.  Understand that he loves you despite the sin you commit.  You aren't perfect and never will be, but strive to live in humility, kindness, patience and selflessness.

Intentionally value his opinion.  When my husband brings up a new idea or solution to a problem I'm having, my first response is often to think that my way is better.  I have to remind myself to intentionally choose to stop talking and listen to his point of view, then carefully consider how his suggestion would play out.  Sometimes I even need to think on it for a few hours before I come around to understanding that what he says is valid.  My desire not to value my husbands opinion can come from a variety of wrong emotions: fear, selfishness, a woe-is-me attitude, or the need to control the situation.  None of these emotions exhibit my love or respect for my husband.  My husband is a smart man.  The longer I'm married to him, the more I realize that he's right at least 1/2 the time.  But that's not the reason I listen.  While for me that is evidence enough to take what he says as important, I stop and listen because it values him and it brings glory to the Lord.  This doesn't necessarily mean we always do things his way, but that I consider the way he feels about the situation as important.

Don't manipulate.  Ask for what you need.  Clearly define for him what you're feeling and tell him what it is you need or want.  For example, if you want to eat out for dinner because you're just tired of cooking all the time, don't say to your husband, "I am so tired!  The kids were crazy today and I haven't had anytime today to get things done.  I haven't even had time to start dinner, so we might eat late."  That doesn't tell him what you need.  That tells him that you're frustrated at your whole day and are just discontent in general.  You are hinting around in hopes that he will read between the lines.  Instead, actually say, "I've had a really long day and I'm a bit overwhelmed.  Could we order pizza tonight so I could have a break from cooking?"  I know that my husband would typically not hesitate to say yes to this because he 1) loves pizza and 2) desires to do what he can to help me.  

Listen.  Really listen.  Put away your phone and turn off the TV.  Tell the kids to wait just a minute.  Those dishes are not what's important.  STOP and LISTEN to your husband's heart.  Turn towards him.  Look him in the eye.  Lovingly touch his arm or hug him.  This is the man that God has set in your life to care for you, guide your family, train up your children, help you make big decisions, provide financially, physically and emotionally.  Treasure what he has to say and care about what's important to him.  

Pray for him.  If you aren't praying for your husband on a regular basis, start making it a priority.  You alone can pray for him in the specific way he needs because you know him better than anyone.  You know the sin he struggles with, the hardships he faces at work, the things he hopes for, the way he desires to serve God and others.  Only you can come before the Lord on behalf of him in this way.  And don't pray, "God, he's terrible.  Make him do better."  Really pray that the Lord would bless your husband and show him how to be a godly leader of your family.  Pray also that you would demonstrate loving kindness towards him, giving him mercy, grace and forgiveness when he disappoints you.

Don't Compare him to someone else's husband.  Everyone's husband has flaws, not just yours.  While some may have less self-control over their flaws, every husband has them.  Your husband is not going to be the same as your father, your friend's husband, your pastor, or the guy in the park playing with his kids.  God created him uniquely, and with him as your life partner, the two of you will be a unique couple unlike any other.  It doesn't really matter what those other men are like, because they aren't your husband.  Don't bother dreaming about the way you see your neighbor's family behaving together, because you can't be in their family.  Look towards your own husband and find the wonderful qualities that he possesses.  Meditate on the ways that God can bless and use your family because of the way he's gifted your husband.  If there is a biblical quality you feel is lacking in your husband, such as working hard or speaking kindly, ask the Lord to give him a desire to change his behavior.  And perhaps pray for God to show you how to gently talk with him about it.  

Take control of your expectations of him.  I heard the Duggars say one time, "Expectations ruin relationships."  And it's true, especially if you have expectations that are unfair.  When we first got married, I learned that my husband was not as crazy about Christmas as I was.  My Dad always filled our home with music, candy, presents, traditions and a REAL tree at Christmas time, and I fully expected my husband to want to decorate the tree with me, sing Christmas carols and frost the Christmas cookies.  He, however, doesn't like Christmas music and just wanted to eat the cookies.  I was crushed that first year and can remember crying at least twice over the fact that he didn't enjoy celebrating the way I did.  And it wasn't fair to him.  Over the years, because of how he has realized what the holiday means to me, he goes with me to choose that Christmas tree with a joyful heart.  But Christmas to him is still more about spending the day with family and having a chance to share Jesus with others, and I have come to appreciate the little things he does at Christmas (as well as coming around to his point of view and being less crazy about all the traditions).  

Focus on changing yourself, not your husband.  Instead of dwelling on what he needs to change, focus on changing your own heart and attitude.  This will not be what you feel like doing in the moment, by the way.  If he doesn't help around the house, don't complain or pout about it.  Ask him about his day and what you can do to help him be able to relax (and remember, don't manipulate.  Ask for what you need).  If he speaks harshly to you, answer him with a gentle voice.  If he makes a financial mistake, don't rub it in.  Do your part to spend your money wisely and ask him what he's learned from that mistake.  Give him a chance to think through his own actions.   

I am not saying that you don't have serious issues in your marriage, or that you husband doesn't need to change some of his behaviors.  Every marriage goes through tough times where both people need to change.  What I'm saying is to see your marriage as a gift from the Lord, and to remember what Christ has done for you as you relate to your man.  Give of yourself for your husband sacrificially.  Not because he will do the same for you, but because it glorifies God.  Because you deserved death, and Jesus gave you life.  Not because you want to get something from him, but because Jesus gave himself for you.  Because you, as his wife, are the only one who can.  There is no one else in his life like you.  No one else comes close to having the honor and responsibility of caring for him the way you do.  

Ephesians 5:31-33 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

*This article is written with healthy marriages in mind, not abusive ones.  If you are being abused, please seek out a trusted friend and counselor for help! *

Joey Danger - One Year Old!

Joey's birthday is here!  He's the big number 1.  Boy oh boy I had to struggle to get a few pictures of this kid on his birthday, but I did the best I could.  It was hard without Bobby there to be funny behind the camera, but here's what I got!

Oh goodness, this boy!  He is the sweetest baby!  He loves to give kisses (especially to Mama) and hugs, but if he's hungry or tired he doesn't want to be around anyone except me or Bobby.  He loves to mimic his big brother and thinks Gia is the funniest person alive.

As of October 1, he has 6 teeth (four on top coming down and two on bottom), is wearing size 12 & 18 month clothes (he's long but skinny), size 4 diapers, size 3 shoes.

His favorite foods are any kind of sugar, especially ice cream.  He also likes peanut butter, bread, cantaloupe, honey nut cheerios, mac and cheese, and sometimes eggs with cheese.  He's VERY picky and is a challenge to feed!  He doesn't like many veggies or meats, so I have to show him only the healthy foods first.  If he gets a taste of the good stuff (like bread or cheerios), that's all he'll eat.  He loves to drink water from the straw-sippy and also knows which one belongs to brother Trey... and then goes after that one!

He nurses 3 times a day.  With Gia and Trey, as soon as they discovered cow's milk, they pretty much weaned themselves.  Joey is not that way... he will enjoy about a half a sippy of regular milk, but it's just for a fun snack.  He has no interest in stopping nursing, so we're still going for now.

Sleep:  he has been sleeping through the night for almost a month!!  He usually takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon, unless he gets a morning nap, in which case his afternoon nap is a little bit shorter.  Usually he skips his morning nap because he wants to nurse to sleep and I won't let him.  We'll work in a morning nap routine soon and see if it takes.

He lets himself be heard.  Oh my goodness.  If Trey is too close to him, or just rubbing his head, he will scream because he knows that I'll come in the room and rescue him.  If he wants more food, he screams.  If he's done with his food, he screams.  We are desperately working on getting him to say, "more" and "all done," but so far he seems pretty stubborn in that area.  He did tell me "up" today (sounded like "at") for the first time, so we're making progress!

He can say "that" ('at), "this" ('is), "daddy," and now "up" (also sounds like "at").  He did, one time this past month, say "Mama."  I was in the kitchen with Trey and he said it.  Trey looked at me and said, "Joey said Mama!" so I know that I wasn't the only one who heard it.  He said it one more time after that, and then not since.

He.Loves.Balls!  He loves to sit on the floor across from one of us and roll/bounce the ball back and forth.  He's the most playful of our babies and likes to be involved in our games.

He likes to brush his own hair and then brush mine.

If you sit him down to put on his shoes, he sticks out his feet to help you get them on.

Baths are his absolute favorite thing!  If he hears me turn on the water in the bathroom, he books it on hands and knees to pull himself up on the rim of the tub.  He even loves to just stand there as brother or sister are getting a bath and try to reach into the water.

He loves to dance!  He also thinks it's hilarious when we dance while holding him.

He really likes car rides and stroller rides.  It's a good way to get him to sleep when he's unable to get himself settled.

When Daddy gets home he gets really excited and crawls right over to Bobby to give him hugs.  Bobby's pretty much in love with this routine.