The Diagnosis

Does her head look okay to you?

Gently, "No."

Does her spine look normal to you?

Gently, "No."

After seeing multiple ultrasounds of three normal babies, I guess I could recognize when certain things didn't look right.  I knew her head wasn't as round as it should be.  I knew her spine was a little bit too curved.  The technician said, "You're asking me these questions as if you knew something wasn't right already."  I told her, "No, I just remember what the other three babies looked like, and she's different."

Then, the diagnosis.  

"It's spina bifida," the technician told me.

I think I was expecting her to say "scoliosis."  Spina bifida took me off guard.  I know what it is.  After volunteering for 7 years at a Radiothon fundraiser for Duke Children's Hospital, I had some experience with the condition and knew what it meant.  I looked at Bobby and said, "this is a big deal."  He knew.  Even without know what spina bifida meant, he knew.

So we sat, a little shocked, as the technician told us how impressed she was with how we were handling it.  We cried a bit as we told her that we had known before conception that God had a special idea in mind for this baby, and I told Gia my tears were indeed happy tears when she asked because, yes, we are still grateful for this blessing God has entrusted to us.  

She told us that Caroline's leg movement was fantastic, and that was a great sign.  She showed us the opening at the base of the spine where Caroline will eventually need surgery.  Apparently the location of the lesion is also a good sign.  Then she walked us to see Dr. Davis.

Our doctor is the most wonderful OBGYN in Utah.  Probably in the world, if you want my opinion.  He was kind and calm as he spoke with us, but even he was a bit at loss for words.  He said it's only the second case he's had this year, and before that he can't remember having a baby with this condition in the past 10 years of his career.  So, there wasn't a whole lot he could tell us other than his experiences during his residency, although even that little bit of information helped.  We'll be going to see a specialist next week after we take a few days in St. George to digest the news.  Then we'll know more.

Have you ever seen the movie The Nativity?  I love watching it every year because, although not 100% Biblically accurate of course, it's so well done and gives a picture of how the characters of the Bible might have dealt with the situations surrounding Jesus' birth.  As we drove away from the doctor office, a line that Mary's character said played over in my head:

"Elizabeth, why is it me God has asked?  I am nothing."

I can't imagine what strength God sees in me to see fit to give me a gift with such special needs.  I often feel weak, emotional, forgetful, inadequate.  Why has He asked me?  I can only think that it's because this baby is not about me, but about what He's going to do in the world through her in spite of me.  When you see what incredible ways that Caroline touches people, you can know that it's is all because of the grace of God.  Not of my doing, but because of His strength and greatness and goodness. 

 So, we rejoice over this baby as we have with all our babies.  She's a blessing and a miracle, and we are excited to meet her and see who she will become.  

* UPDATE:  We have had tests done and seen a lot of doctors.  We are considering our surgical options but aren't sure what the next step is quite yet.  Please pray for God to give us wisdom to make the best choice.

I have not been good at posting blogs for little Joey.  Life just takes off with 3 kids and blogging has taken a back seat.  But hopefully I can remember some of the milestones that he is experiencing now.

It took until Joey was 18 months to say more than 5 words, but just after that point he took off and can now say just about anything!  My favorite of his words are "airplane, upsie (oopsie), shewie stinky, shhyeah."  His little voice is totally precious!  I love hearing each new word he learns (which is a daily thing).  I need to video him talking more so I can remember it when he grows up.

He's in 2T clothes, although as summer is ending I'm still squeezing him into his 18 month summer clothes.  He wears size 5 shoe, but is close to being in a 6.

His favorite foods are mac and cheese, cheese, cereal, smoothies, popsicles and any kind of dessert (especially fruit snacks).  He still doesn't like to eat fruit or most veggies.  It's amazing he's as big as he his since he seems to barely eat.

He's warm and cuddly but takes a long time to warm up to people outside the family.  I think this might change as he grows older because of his personality, but for now he's all about Stranger Danger.

He has been able to jump with both feet since about 19 months, and now he's a pro.  He loves to dance, jump and run!  He also loves riding in the new van!  It's been great riding with him now that he can't hit Gia the entire time :p

He wants to be just like Trey.  He wears a cape when Trey does, eats what Trey does, copies Trey when he talks or plays.

Joey loves to be outside, no matter what we're doing out there.  He'll jump on the little trampoline, blow bubbles (another favorite), go for a walk, play with Nola, or play at a park or splash pad.  I don't know what we're going to do when winter hits!!

Joey's going through a hitting/pinching stage.  It's not my favorite stage, but we're working through it.  Trey went through it, too, and came out of it, so I know Joey will, also.

He favorite people are definitely Gia and Trey, but he also likes to play with Sawyer and Zoe.  He of course is nicer to the big kids and likes to play with them as well.

He sleeps great:  2-3 hour naps and 11-12 hours at night.  It's a good stage!

He loves Mama and Daddy.  He also has his own routines at bedtime with us (he has to have a specific song from me and a tummy rub from Daddy).

His favorite movie is still "Baby Dance."  He also likes Little Einsteins and Daniel Tiger.

His favorite books right now are Brown Bear and Little Blue Truck.  He does love books!

Joey -18 months

My baby is quickly becoming a little boy.  This is bitter sweet for me because I love each stage that he comes into, but I will miss how sweet his baby stage has been.  He seems to be stubborn like the rest of us, but in a different way than Trey or even Gia.  He can fall apart in a second if we take away a toy or he's ready to take a nap, but he's quick to say I'm sorry and give cuddles.  He forgives easily and moves on to the next moment.   

Joey is definitely an extrovert, although he's recently been going through a separation anxiety stage where if we are around people who aren't very familiar he clings to me and doesn't want to play until he really gets comfortable.  If I leave him somewhere, he only cries for a moment and then has fun.

Some Joey facts:

This boy LOVES his baths!  He could play in the water for hours if I let him.

He is an extremely picky eater.  He loves sugar and I have to keep the cabinet locked where we keep the candy because he's learned how to eat through wrappers and open suckers!  

He listens and obeys fairly well, although if he really wants something he might shake his head no and then cry hard when he can't have it.  Most of the time, however, I can ask him, "Joey, will you please give that to [me, Trey, Gia, whoever], and he will walk right over and do it.  I'm also teaching him to say "yes mama" and he does it almost every time I ask.

Joey lives for praise!  I believe that words of affirmation is his number one love language, followed by physical touch.  

While Gia cuddled mostly with Bobby, and Trey cuddled mostly with me, Joey is an equal opportunist.  He loves and initiates cuddling with us both and will hug anyone he's comfortable with.

One thing that we do every week is grocery shopping on Monday mornings.  He and Trey sit beside each other in the car-cart and eat a free cookie while we shop.  It's become something I look forward to each week.

His favorite thing to watch (really the only thing he likes to watch) are our Classical Baby DVDs.  These were Gia's favorite as well.  Trey went right into Elmo Signing With The Stars, but all 3 of them enjoy watching Classical Baby with Joey now.  

Joey still drinks 3 sippys of milk a day (when he wakes up and during story time at nap/bed). Sometimes he gets another one after nap time while he watches Classical Baby.  

Bedtime routine:  reading Found while drinking milk, cuddling under his blanket, prayer with Mama.  Then I lay him down, smile at him as I hand him a book and either his monkey or Elmo stuffed animal and tell him night-night.  Later, I go in before bed and take his blanket out of the crib because one time a few months ago I went in and it was wrapped around his face.

He doesn't really have a favorite food because what he'll eat from one meal to the next changes.  He likes sugar, broccoli and mac and cheese most of the time, and is ALWAYS ready for milk.  Mostly though, if I let him feed himself he will at least take a bite... he hates when we try to feed him.  Mr. Independent.

He's in 18 month and 24 month clothes and wears size 4 1/2 size shoe.  He's still in size 4 diapers.

He weighs 24 lbs 15oz (60%) and is 33 inches tall (75%).  His head is becoming more proportional, ha ha.

He loves to be outside and play.  He's very into sports (shooting the basketball, throwing back and forth).  He's a good pitcher, but doesn't normally catch the ball (although he has before).  

Nola his his buddy!  She tends to run away when he comes up to her, but he is so sweet with her.  He hugs her and pets her as he smiles.  It's precious.